Let us create a 3D eBook for you!
Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com

 

Are You a Right-Fighter?


Are You a "Right-Fighter"?

Do you find yourself struggling to "win" arguments? Do people ask you why you always have to be right? Does conflict you engage in typically end with you having the last word, but no one feels good about the argument? Do arguments you engage in usually escalate to shouting and anger? If you have said yes to any of these questions, you are likely a right-fighter!

What is a "Right-Fighter"

A right-fighter is someone who struggles to win arguments, even if they doubt their own view. A right-fighter is someone who gets overly emotional or angry when people do not agree with them and their opinions or beliefs. A right-fighter is someone who insists on having the last word in an argument or refuses to back down no matter what.

Challenges of Being a "Right-Fighter"

1) People who are right-fighters, (or those who are driven by the need to be right), have their value or worth literally attached to the outcome of being right. On a very deep level, a right-fighter believes that if she is not agreed with then she is not valuable, lovable and/or worthy. The "right-fighter" desperately believes (unconsciously) that others must agree with her to feel ok about herself. Being a right-fighter causes you to depend upon others for your self-esteem and worth.

2) Right-Fighting is an acceptable form of violence or aggression. Because the right-fighting pattern usually ends up one sided and includes a winner and a loser, the effects are similar to those of physical abuse. Learned submission on the part of the children and often the other parent/spouse is inevitable. "Right-Fighting" is in fact a form of emotional abuse. A right-fighter parent is particularly harmful to children because the child is made to feel like the "loser" and that his or her opinions arenot valid or important. Right-fighting is a direct reflection of low self-esteem. And unfortunately the low self-esteem of one steals the development of strong self-esteem of others.

Negative Outcomes of "Right-Fighting" Women

~ Loved ones around a right-fighting women experience consistent feelings of defeat and learn to seriously doubt their capabilities, lovability and value as a human. The result is oftenalienation. ~ Right-Fighting is an especially dangerous behavior for mothers. A very common outcome of right-fighting is that it tends to breed explosiveness and anger within the home environment. ~ Because the nature of a right-fighting parent is to prove his/her value and worthiness through being "right", it is at the same time stealing a strong sense of value and worthiness from the children. Any timeparents have low self-esteem, the children will too.~ Frequently right-fighters are managers, bosses or owners of companies because they are strong and powerful (which when used well are merely 2 of the abounding excellent qualities of the right-fighter!).Unfortunately, the right-fighting work environment creates disloyalty, frequent turnover, dishonesty, ineffectiveness, and an every man for himself attitude. (I'll save right-fighting in the workplace for anothertime!)

Do Not Despair!

If you have found that you may have some qualities of a right-fighter, don't start beating yourself up, begin working on it! You are a wonderful and lovable person with far more positive qualities

than negative... this is certain! This habit does NOT have to define you. You are capable of releasing this habit at any time (please seek help if you need it, a partner in change is always a wonderful gift to yourself and your family!).

Acknowledging your habit of right-fighting and becoming aware when you are engaging in this habit is the first, most important step in leading a more successful and happy life.

Action Step

"Right-fighters": Begin to gently remind yourself of your unchanging value and worth during arguments and disagreements, whether or not you fully believe it. "Fake it till you make it"! Begin to imagine what conflict would be like if the outcome was not important. Begin to allow others to hold one opinion and you another without having ill or hurt feelings. What would life be like to be loved, cared for and respected rather than being "right"? Try validating others' opinions as equally valuable. This doesn't mean you must agree, only to say "yes" you and your view are as valuable as mine". I promise you, peace will begin to flow into your life.

About Author:Momentum Performance Development is a personal and professional coaching company. When you commit to one of our programs, our team of experts in sport, career, and family performance development will assist in exponentially changing your life for the better. This means high performance success for you. We are committed to your results!

Sign up for our FANTASTIC newsletters at http://www.create-momentum.com/


MORE RESOURCES:

Motivation - Google News

CHIEF INSIGHT: Emphasis on the elite leaves the rest struggling - UNLV The Rebel Yell


CHIEF INSIGHT: Emphasis on the elite leaves the rest struggling
UNLV The Rebel Yell
Gifted with motivation and potential. Promising enough that the university invests in him. Valuable enough to the institution that it sets him apart. The perks of honors programs are formidable: face time with influential faculty, small class sizes ...

When Black Men Succeed - Inside Higher Ed


Inside Higher Ed

When Black Men Succeed
Inside Higher Ed
The overpowering impression left by Harper's study, he and others say, is that while the achievers in his group worked hard and made their own way through significant personal effort and motivation, their path was fueled by what he calls ...

Amherst teen has personal motivation for cancer drive after death of his mother - GazetteNET


GazetteNET

Amherst teen has personal motivation for cancer drive after death of his mother
GazetteNET
AMHERST - James Kirwan, a junior at Amherst Regional High School, has extra motivation to raise money for cancer patients. When he was 14, his mother died of the disease. "She was the closest person in my life and always will be," he said.

Underwood wishes Pats luck after being cut - Wall Street Journal


TSN

Underwood wishes Pats luck after being cut
Wall Street Journal
Underwood tweeted that he would use his release as motivation, thanked his supporters and wished the Patriots luck. The team filled his roster spot for Sunday's game against the New York Giants with defensive end Alex Silvestro.
Tiquan Underwood: The Man the New England Patriots CutBleacher Report

all 526 news articles »

Salary collateral for personal loans not acceptable: Experts - Arab News


Salary collateral for personal loans not acceptable: Experts
Arab News
Dr. Abdul Rahman Al-Sultan, an academic and economic expert, noted this practice serves as a motivation for local banks to extend more personal loans to employees without taking into account their solvency. He urged concerned authorities to protect ...

and more »

Tense: Karen Hunter Questions Jodi Kantor's Motivation For Writing Seven ... - Mediaite


Mediaite

Tense: Karen Hunter Questions Jodi Kantor's Motivation For Writing Seven ...
Mediaite
“What was your motivation,” Hunter continued, “if you didn't have personal interviews with the President or the First Lady, to produce something called The Obamas, which was an in-depth look at this power couple, what was your motivation for doing it?

and more »

Airman begins career sharing strong motivation and fitness message - DVIDS


Airman begins career sharing strong motivation and fitness message
DVIDS
A first-term airman, Gooden adopted an early routine which started him hitting the gym at his base in a personal pursuit to raise his fitness level. Day after day, he worked on his overall strength and endurance. At Aviano, one of Gooden's friends ...

and more »

OSCR staff survey reveals rising motivation levels - Civil Society Media


OSCR staff survey reveals rising motivation levels
Civil Society Media
Staff at the Office of the Scottish Charity Regulator (OSCR) are more motivated than they were, have a greater personal attachment to the organisation and are more confident in the board's vision for the future, according to this year's Civil Service ...

and more »

Afghans' attacks on US troops often personal - USA TODAY


USA TODAY

Afghans' attacks on US troops often personal
USA TODAY
In testimony prepared for delivery Wednesday to the House Armed Services Committee, defense officials said that in most cases the Afghans acted out of personal motivation and were not controlled or directed by insurgent groups.
Lawmakers: Stop insider attacks by Afghan troopsSTLtoday.com
Defense officials blame personal problems for Afghan forces' attacks on ...Fox News
Lawmakers say military must do more to prevent attacks by supposedly friendly ...Washington Post

all 13 news articles »

Attacks by Afghans on US troops 'often personal' - Telegraph.co.uk


Telegraph.co.uk

Attacks by Afghans on US troops 'often personal'
Telegraph.co.uk
In testimony prepared for delivery on Wednesday to the House Armed Services Committee, defence officials said that in most cases the Afghans acted out of personal motivation and were not controlled or directed by insurgent groups.
US lawmakers:Stop insider attacks by Afghan troopsThe Associated Press

all 4,029 news articles »

Click here for Best Buy In-Store Pickup

StreetSideAuto.com

Looking For Royalty Free Photos for your Website, Business or Advertising?

My Life Through The Lens

NewsScape Domain Is For Sale - $3,500 For Enquiries eMail Us

© NewsScape.biz 2011

home | site map | links

eXTReMe Tracker